Thursday, December 16, 2004

Kill Vampires to UNKLE!

It's taken a while for me to get round to saying this, but I saw Blade Trinity on Saturday night, and it was just plain awful.

They've managed to include a few decent fight scenes (NOT the five minutes of wrestling they wrote in to justify having Triple H as a bad guy), but there was just far too much about the story that was totally unbelievable. Like keeping a guy alive while he makes bad jokes instead of just killing him - how is anyone supposed to believe that?

But the worst part of the film was that it was interspersed with Apple adverts. Every computer on show was an Apple, so they achieved product placement with this alone and should have stopped. Instead, there is a tool-up scene where the new female Blade groupy is making playlists on her iPod using her iBook (while pressing buttons on her iPod - surely these are disabled while connected to a Mac as they are for a Windows PC), because she likes to listen to music while killing vampires.

This is cringeworthy. This is worse than Will Smith putting on his brand new "Classic 2004 Converse" sneakers at the start of I, Robot. This is so out of place. Everyone - bad and good - is wearing blacks and dark colours, except for these pure white headphones. How is she going to hear stuff going on in the distance with Jurassic 5 in her inner ears?

Apple: The iPod is selling well through word of mouth alone. You don't need to perform this kind of marketing to get it noticed.

Blade Trinity makers: I'd say you could do better, but clearly you can't.

U2: Why are you making iPod adverts, and why is there a limited edition U2 iPod? I would have thought that your new album would be selling very well just now, just like the last 20 did. You don't need to sell out like this.


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